Who am I?

Finding yourself.. this sounds cliché for us by now. We have been hearing that a lot. But have we absorbed it? We have been reading about it. Have we understood it?

Why is finding ourselves so important? When did we lose ourselves in the first place? Was it when we joined the cat-race for survival? Or when we moulded ourselves according to society's norms? Or when we fell for someone and gave them complete control over our actions and behaviour?

We want to "find ourselves" but also expect us to find us somewhere in somebody's heart. Why is people's perspective so important that we, unconsciously, change ourselves and sometimes our dreams too. 

Are we content? Are we happy the way we are in Instagram and Facebook? I have personally come across people for whom showing themselves happy is more important than actually being happy or keeping someone else happy.

Remember our dreams and aspirations when we were kids? How many of us have actually pursued them? We proceed, no doubt, but later, we simply let life proceed. 

We forget what an incredible danger it is to live life without knowing who you are.

According to psychologists, a person who hasn’t “found themselves” is someone who is: lacking a sense of self or a lack of personal identity and psychologists recognize that when a person lacks a sense of personal identity, their problems extend into every aspect of their life: relationships, career, even mental and emotional health.

It can be really difficult to make even small decisions. 

When we don’t know who we are, we end up spending more time wondering about what other people want from us than about what we want and need for ourselves. But what we fail to understand is that, people will judge, no matter what. Even Goddess Sita was maligned and even she had to prove herself. You might be the purest soul in this world, yet you will have haters or people who will point fingers at you. 

Finding ourselves is the process of discovering who we are and why we matter apart from outside achievements, relationships, and even in the face of great challenges or in life’s shifting environments. A person who is finding herself/himself is learning to trust the the sound of her/his own voice, listen to intuitions, take action based on convictions, face conflict and criticism with grace and power, and to visit that place of peace inside, despite what is happening around.

When you are actually you, you will know what's best and what needs to be done. We need to follow our heart. But first, we have to find it. 

Our parents have gone through many hurdles to raise us- and they didn't raise us to be someone else. 

All this might sound too self-centered but it actually is the most unselfish process that dictates everything we do in life. To be the best daughter/son, husband/wife or father/mother, we have to first know who we are, what we value and what we have to offer.

We need to shed the many layers of 'fake identity' that we have enveloped ourselves with. 

We need to step back from the harmful effects of societal influences. As Dr. Firestone said, “To lead a free life, a person must separate him/herself from negative imprinting and remain open and vulnerable."

Dr. Robert Firestone has further illustrated “6 Aspects of Being an Adult:”

1. Experience your emotions, but make rational decisions when it comes to how you act.

2. Formulate goals and take the appropriate actions to achieve them.

3. Be proactive and self-assertive, rather than passive and dependent.

4. Seek equality in your relationships.

5. Be open to exploring new ideas and welcome constructive criticism.

6. Take full power over every part of your conscious existence.

Step back and think what "you" want and follow your own principles. Silence your inner critic. Stop denying your own stories- they define you.